


"I love you"

by bigyikesdude



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: 4+1, Fluff, Laurent has anxiety, Laurent trying to be soft uwu, M/M, here you go bc I love love, laurent and damen are in love, so much fluff just all fluff, that's not a plot point but it is implicit, very brief mention of csa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:20:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23273857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigyikesdude/pseuds/bigyikesdude
Summary: 4 times Laurent says "I love you" to Damen + 1 time he doesn't have to <3Damen in ch.2 :)something soft for the tough times.
Relationships: Damen/Laurent (Captive Prince)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 72





	"I love you"

I.

The first time didn't really count. 

Damen could barely hear it. He was bleeding out on the floor, and Laurent's hands were pressed firmly against his wound. He could hear Laurent's incessant whispering, which alternated between promising that everything would be alright and begging Damen to stay awake just a bit longer. 

Subconsciously, he found Laurent's hands and laid his own on top of them. Laurent whispered a soft, "I love you. Please stay with me." Then he kissed Damen with careful gentleness, and Damen could not react to it. He was more unconscious than not. 

A moment later, guards flooded into the room, and Damen slipped into a heavy sleep.

When he woke, Laurent was sitting on a chair at his bedside, slumped over Damen's bedside and fast asleep. Damen reached forward and brushed his fingers through Laurent's hair. Even the slight pressure made Laurent jolt awake, and Damen saw the dark bags under his eyes.

"Hi," He said weakly.

Laurent burst forward and kissed Damen. His excitement exuded from him, which made Damen smile.

"Hi," Laurent repeated, clutching Damen's hand in his. Laurent lowered his eyes, "Damen, I--"

For a second, Damen thought he would repeat what he had said.

Instead Laurent said, "I'm very glad you're alive." He pressed soft, slow kisses to the hand he holds. 

Damen was disappointed, but he did not show it. He knew better than anyone why Laurent had difficulty sharing his heart. 

Damen simply said, "I was not ready to leave you." 

II.

Laurent had not repeated those words since Damen's near-death, and as much as Damen tried to be understanding, it hurt. Damen said the words as often as he could, and he still felt it was not nearly often enough to capture his true feelings toward Laurent. He said it between kisses and in conversation, he whispered it to Laurent over dinner and during sex, he once even shouted it at Laurent in the heat of an argument. Each time, it seemed to take Laurent by surprise, so Damen was determined to repeat it until Laurent comprehended it.

Laurent was especially talkative that day. He chattered on about a book he was reading and negotiations with Patras and even, briefly, about court gossip until he realized Damen was not interested. 

"You shouldn't be speaking ill of your own counsel members," Damen scolded lightly. 

Laurent huffed, "It's only rumors. There's no harm." 

"You are a king, not a kitchen maid," Damen rolled his eyes, but when he saw that this made Laurent quiet down and look at his hands, Damen quickly said, "I'm sorry. That was rude of me."

Laurent just shrugged and began talking about a new medicine Pascal had told him about earlier that week. Damen listened as well as he could. It seemed to Damen that Laurent was unreasonably nervous about something. He babbled on and on, and he couldn't seem to keep his hands still in his lap. 

The nervousness continued all day and into the evening. Laurent did not eat much at dinner, but he reacted with a coy smile when Damen put a hand on his thigh under the table. After dinner, Laurent took his hand to walk back to their chamber and talked senselessly until they undressed. Damen kissed the tension out of Laurent's body. He laid extra attention on Laurent, taking it as slow and gentle as possible as he knew Laurent liked.

He had come to know Laurent's body very well. He knew the ticklish spot behind Laurent's ear and the silver scars along his skin and the callouses on his hands. He kissed each spot with earnest. His hand slid up the inside of Laurent's thigh, making him squirm.

It was not until an hour later that, breathing heavily and making tiny noises of pleasure, Laurent whispered, "Please, Damen, please," and by that time, Damen was happy to oblige.

When they were finished, panting, Damen rolled onto his back beside Laurent and outstretched an arm. Obediently, Laurent slipped into the space against Damen's chest, and Damen kissed him on the forehead. Damen was hopeful that whatever anxieties Laurent had been harboring have been fucked out of him, at least for the night, so he closed his eyes. 

"Damen?" Laurent asked when a few minutes have passed. 

Damen, now half-asleep, grunted, "Hmm?" 

"I want to tell you something," Laurent replied. He began absently tracing delicate patterns on Damen's chest, and Damen knew the anxiety has returned. 

"Please do," Damen said. Without opening his eyes, he kissed Laurent lightly on the tip of the nose, which he knew without looking would make it scrunch.

There was a loaded pause as Laurent shifted against Damen, then finally gathered the courage to say in clear, precise syllables, "I love you." 

Damen opened his eyes to look at Laurent, who was refusing to look back. A smile spread over Damen's lips as he cupped Laurent's face and tipped his chin up, forcing him to make eye contact. Damen kissed him once, slow and languid, then drew away to ask, "Is that what has been worrying you all day?" 

Laurent blushed prettily as he replied, "I hoped you wouldn't notice." 

"My love," Damen tenderly brushed a lock of hair from Laurent's face, "of course I noticed." 

"I couldn't think of how to tell you," Laurent replied, and for the first time, Damen understood just how much those words meant to him. 

Damen brought him into another kiss, this one a bit rougher and more desperate. He was nearly ready for another round of tumbling by the time he pulled away. 

He said, "I love you, too." 

III.

Pascal said the sudden illness was nothing to be too concerned about. It had been brought about by a combination of overwork, lack of sleep, and Laurent's habit of keeping the window beside his desk open even as the fall turned into winter.

Damen sat with Laurent through a long night of nausea and incoherent mumblings. Even wrapped in blankets and sitting in front of the fireplace, Laurent was shivering. Damen pressed a mug of hot tea into his hands, which Laurent didn't seem to notice. He stared into the fire, his chin resting on his knees, which were drawn up to his chest. Damen yawned.

"You can go to sleep. I'll be okay," Laurent said. His voice was hoarse. 

"No, I'm not tired," Damen said. It was, of course, a lie, and he was near certain it was obvious. However, he was worried something would happen to Laurent if he were left alone. Just that morning, Laurent had woken up in a cold sweat, panicking and rambling about his uncle. It made Damen's heart sink like a rock, and he spent the better part of an hour trying to calm his lover down. 

Laurent smiled softly and stared at Damen. His pale skin held an odd greenish color, and his nose was a sorry red.

Damen nudged him and said, "Drink your tea." 

Laurent looked down at it as if noticing he was holding it for the first time, then simply said, "Oh," and took a slow sip. 

"You should come to bed with me," Damen said as Laurent set the mug down beside himself, "Some sleep would do you good, my love." 

Laurent shook his head, "I have been having bad dreams." 

"I know," Damen said with a nod. He'd woken up nearly every night that week to see Laurent already awake and pacing down their floor, trying to soothe himself. It hurt Damen more each time. He wished that just once, Laurent would come to him for comfort. Damen asked, "Do you want to tell me what you dream about?"

Laurent was still for a few seconds, then replied, "It's stupid. You'll think 'm stupid." He then coughed violently. 

"Nothing could make me think such a thing." 

Laurent drew his knees closer to his body and wrapped his arms around himself. 

"No, it _is_ stupid," Laurent said firmly, then as if against his will, he continued, "because he's dead." 

Damen began to move closer, saying, "Laurent--"

"Don't," Laurent held up a hand to stop him, and Damen stopped. Laurent shook his head, "You'll get sick." 

"I don't care about that. I want to help you," Damen insisted. He reached forward and took Laurent's hand in his. He said, "I will never let anyone harm you again. Anyone who tries, I will kill. Or better yet, I will hold them still while you do the deed yourself."

Laurent smiled ever so softly for a few seconds, then his expression sank as he confessed, "Sometimes in my dreams, it is not him who hurts me." 

Damen suddenly felt as sick as Laurent looked. He squeezed Laurent's hand. 

"My love, I would never--" 

"I know," Laurent assured quickly. He took a shaky breath as he repeated, "I know. You would never do such a thing to anyone. Even when we are intimate, you always stop when I ask. You would never hurt me." Laurent had a faraway look in his eyes. He looked back to the fire as he said, "It's a stupid dream." 

"It is not stupid--" Damen said firmly, "--to be afraid."

"I am not afraid. It's just a trick of my mind," Laurent said, shrugging, "I just... am not anxious to dream again, but I understand if you are. Really, Damianos, I will be fine if you want to go to bed without me." Laurent only called him by his full name when he was chastising him or on occasion, during sex. 

Damen sat closer to Laurent, even though Laurent muttered warnings about getting sick, too. They sat in silence and listened to the crackling of the fire. Damen prompted Laurent to drink the rest of his tea, and Laurent did. 

Damen could not tell how much time passed before Laurent yawned. Smiling, Damen asked, "Sleepy?" 

"Oh, hush," Laurent scolded. He set his head against Laurent's shoulder, and Damen put an arm around him to draw him close. After another second of silence, Laurent said in a very small voice, "I love you. I really love you." 

Damen could do nothing but smile into Laurent's hair and kiss the top of his head, which was admittedly a little sweaty. He murmured back, "You're sick. It's making you say things."

"No," Laurent replied stubbornly, "I mean it. I love you very much." 

Damen laced their fingers together and said, "As I do you." 

They sat together in front of the fire for a long while, until Laurent fell into dreamless sleep with his head still tucked onto Damen's shoulder.

IV.

Laurent broke his ankle on his twenty-second birthday. 

It was early in the morning, and he'd snuck out of bed to go on a ride before the festivities. The large crowds always gave him a headache. 

It was over a particularly rocky patch in the woods surrounding the palace that a bird flew far too close to his horse and spooked her. As a result, he was thrown to the ground and landed badly. He nearly blacked out when he first tried to stand and quickly fell into an undignified heap on the rocks. 

Damen did not know this. All he knew was that he woke up to an empty bed, and no one in the staff seemed to know anything about Laurent's whereabouts. 

"I'm sure he's fine," Nikandros insisted. The kyros was half awake and still tired from his long trip to the capitol, but he stayed by Damen's side all morning.

"Something is wrong," Damen argued. 

A thousand possibilities flashed through his head. Laurent, kidnapped by an enemy force-- bound and gagged and desperate for Damen to find him. Laurent, dead at the hands of a secret assassin. Laurent, in pain; Laurent, scared; Laurent, silently begging Damen to rescue him. 

"Search the palace," Damen told Jord, who nodded and took a troop of men with him. 

"Damen, don't be rash," Nikandros said, because he could sense the thoughts running wild in his best friend's head, "Laurent is smart, and he is capable, not some damsel in need of a sweeping rescue. Think about where he might have gone."

Damen checked the stables first, and sure enough, his horse was missing. Nikandros threw up his hands as if to say 'there you go,' but Damen was not satisfied. 

"Come on," He said, already taking his own horse. Nikandros rolled his eyes, but he followed. 

They rode around the grounds for the better part of an hour before coming across Laurent's horse. The saddle was empty. 

"I told you something is wrong," Damen snapped as Nikandros eased Laurent's horse. 

"Perhaps," Nikandros admitted. He took the horse's reins and secured them to his own saddle.

They continued riding for a few minutes before Damen stopped in a huff and said, "Take the horse back and gather some men to search the grounds." 

Nikandros argued, "I shouldn't leave you alone." 

"We will need backup," Damen replied, "and I'm not leaving." 

Nikandros remained stubborn for a moment longer, then finally conceded, "Fine."

It was another half hour before Damen heard his own name being shouted from somewhere in the brush. He dismounted, tied off his horse, and moved closer, hand carefully on the sword that hung off his belt. 

"Laurent?" He asked the wilderness.

"Damen!" The voice shouted again, and this time, Damen was certain it was Laurent. He moved more quickly, pushing through bushes and ducking under low-hanging branches before seeing Laurent sitting on the trunk of a fallen tree.

"Laurent," Damen breathed as he rushed forward and threw his arms tightly around Laurent, who laughed before gasping sharply. Pain, Damen realized. He pulled away quickly. 

"I fell," Laurent answered before Damen could ask. 

"What hurts?" 

Laurent extended his leg to show Damen. His boot had been abandoned, and he wore an improvised splint made of sticks and bound together with his shoelace. It had already begun to swell.

"Doesn't look too good," Damen commented. 

"Doesn't feel good, either," Laurent had a light tone, although his face screwed with pain when he moved too much, "or else I would have come back already." 

Damen held out his hands and asked with some drama, "May I escort you back, your Grace?" 

Smiling, Laurent gingerly took Damen's hand and agreed.

Damen put Laurent's arm around his shoulders and set a hand at his waist. Laurent hopped beside him, which was difficult on the uneven terrain. He was forced to lean heavily on Damen, and he grunted with the effort. 

Damen bent down and picked him up as a man would his bride. The gesture seemed to surprise Laurent, who laughed and wrapped his arms around Damen's neck. He joked, "I am twenty-two today, Damen. I'm getting too old to be carried around like a maiden, don't you think?"

"You are still so young," Damen groaned, "and you are making me feel old." 

Laurent laughed again and kissed Damen on the cheek. He set his head against Damen's shoulder and said, "Thank you for coming to find me. I was getting concerned that you would leave me out here to freeze," Before Damen could protest, Laurent continued on with his grand story, "It would be terribly simple. You could tell everyone I was stolen away and killed before you could make your dashing rescue. You could tell them how you wept as I laid dead in your arms. Then you would have all our subjects' sympathy, not to mention full control over both our kingdoms. A perfect plot, really, and you wouldn't even need to do any work for it." 

"Laurent," Damen muttered as he set Laurent on his feet in front of the horse, "you know I'll always come find you when you need me. Besides, I have no desire to rule without you." 

"Mmm," Was all Laurent could say as Damen leaned over to kiss him.

"I love you," Damen said, pressing a quick kiss to Laurent's forehead. 

Laurent smiled, "I love you, too." 

It took Damen off guard. From anyone else, he would have expected a vocal reciprocation, but from Laurent, it was a rarity. Laurent must have seen the surprise on his face, because he started to laugh.

"Old age is making me sappy, perhaps," Laurent joked, and Damen chuckled.

Damen cupped his hand under Laurent's knee and helped him onto the saddle without further injuring his ankle, then climbed on behind him.

\+ I

Laurent was approaching his twenty-third birthday. The pervious year had brought him more love than he thought was possible. It overwhelmed him sometimes, even in small moments. It overwhelmed him to look at Damen sleeping next to him, it overwhelmed him to feel Damen's hands and lips against him, and more than anything, it overwhelmed him to look at Damen looking at him.

Damen always wore his emotions on his face. Laurent could always see every inch of love on Damen's face. It made Laurent's own heart swell. He himself was not very good at showing his emotions, and he knew it. He was trying to get better-- Damen deserved better. He had a plan, though, to show Damen how much he cared. 

Laurent's heart was hammering in his head as he walked outside, where he was supposed to meet Damen. His hands were sweating and not because of the heat, despite them being in Ios for the spring. He had to pause to catch his breath before he entering the gardens. 

"Hi," Damen said as he approached. 

"Hi," Laurent said back, lamely. Despite his nerves, he had a smile on his face, as was becoming more common these days. 

"You look a bit anxious," Damen noticed, reaching forward to card his fingers through Laurent's hair. Laurent no longer had to remind himself not to flinch away from casual touches. He wasn't sure exactly when that change happened, but he knew it was because of Damen.

"Yes. Uh," For once, words eluded him. He stammered out, "I wanted to talk to you about something." 

"Something serious?" Damen asked as they began walking.

Laurent hesitated before saying, "Well, I mean yes, but--"

"Something bad?" 

"Not bad," Laurent shook his head. His hands were shaking, too, he realized. He had not expected this from himself, and he did all he could to reign in his nervousness. "I'm sorry," he blurted, "I don't know why I'm having such trouble with this." 

"Do you want to sit down?" 

"No," Laurent answered too quickly, "no, I think we should walk a bit farther." 

Damen gave him a quizzical look, but nodded. They walked in silence a few more meters, and Damen plucked a flower from a bush and tucked it into Laurent's hair. Laurent knew he was blushing and quickly adverted his eyes, a nervous laugh coming from his lips. 

They approached the clearing, where the fountain water was spraying gentle mist in their faces. Rose petals were scattered across the grass, and Damen paused.

"You're up to something," Damen said, "What's all this, Laurent?" 

"I have something to ask of you," Laurent said carefully.

"Anything you need."

"No," Laurent looked away, "It's not a need; it's just a want." 

Before he could lose his courage, he knelt down. From his pocket, he withdrew a small box, which took him a second to flip open with his shaking hands. Damen watched him silently, in awe, with an expression on his face that Laurent would have called 'dopey' if he weren't already so nervous.

"I want you to marry me," Laurent realized his tone sounded too confident now, too firm, so he quickly amended, "Please." 

"Laurent," Damen wore the widest smile Laurent had ever seen, "of course I will." 

He took Laurent gently by the elbows and guided him to stand.

"Honestly, I can't imagine why you were so scared. As if I could ever say no. You know how much I care for you," He kissed Laurent, long and slow.

When they broke away, Laurent murmured, "I just wanted to show you that your feelings are reciprocated. I know I'm bad at showing it." 

Damen kissed him again, more playful this time, "You're not bad. You just have your own way." 

Still unsteady, Laurent withdrew the ring from the box and slid it onto Damen's finger. His eyes were watering. He wished they wouldn't. He always felt so silly and young when he cried. Now was not a good time for those feelings. 

"Hey," Damen kissed him lightly on the crown of his head, "I want to show you something. Don't cry."

"I'm not," Laurent swiped away a stray tear. 

Damen drew from his own pocket a small ring. It was a simple gold band with an opal at the center that shone different colors when it caught the light. 

"My mother's ring," Damen explained, "I've been carrying it around for a week, waiting for the right time to ask. Seems you beat me to it." 

Laurent swallowed down a lump in his throat, "Seems that way." 

Damen slipped in onto Laurent's finger, and the second he drew away, Laurent pulled Damen into a tight hug. 

"You're everything to me," He whispered into Damen's chest.

"As you are to me." 

Laurent could not remember a time he was so happy.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed :))) all comments/kudos are appreciated


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